Walking Munchies For The Mosquitoes.

I only have myself to blame.I take complete and utter culpability for the situation I now find myself facing. A state of affairs so dire that my whole mental stability is threatening to commit mutiny.I don't know what overcame me....how on earth it escaped me but I forgot the mosquito repellent. The life saving lotion my mother dutifully sends over every May in preparation for summer. Forget botox...forget age defying creams that instantly lift the contours of the face to retrieve that youthful look...or Bobby Brown dark circle concealer,I just cannot live without my mosquito repellent lotion.I mean,do you think Catherine Zeta Jones or Kate Winslett would look as gorgeous as they do,covered in red,itchy,swollen blotches -constantly swearing under their breath as they endure another marathon itching session with broken off nails? Where would all that beauty paraphernalia get them then? I quickly swivel my head down in the direction of my calf.A deliciously,tempting piece of bare skin upon which ten and more black intruders now brazenly scoff.I can hear the crackling of radio as more circumnavigate my lower leg on their ascending flight paths. A speedy right palm slap takes five of the rogues out, stunning two as the rest of the cowards fly for the hills,throttles up. I watch as my three kids race around the park,their laughter tinkling along with a glass fish chime hanging in a nearby balcony.Summer in Japan is incredibly beautiful.....experienced gazing through a window,sipping green tea in an air-conditioned room.A room that is mosquito free,I hasten to add.My children are half Japanese and could be outdoors all day if I let them,only to return with two bites at the most.I,on the other hand attract the little fiends by the minions.I have this image of myself,engulfed in one huge buzzing cloud whenever I step outside in summer.One doctor told me that it is due to my blood being so healthy. Well,at the rate I am going I'll need a transfusion soon.Image of a mummified me on a park bench,lips curled back in pain,one hand curled for one last scratch suddenly flashes before me.I eye the UVA/bug net on the child buggy. Maybe if I wrap it around me from head to toe,they won't be able to get at me.Maybe if I wrap it around me and run around screaming,they might give up and go for easier drillings? It's not like I have any street cred left,I have three young kids and a face covered in red,angry blotches.I swiftly deliver a double palm slap to my face making the local drunk on the next bench lurch in surprise.The satisfaction of seeing those red ink blotches on my hand far outweighs the stinging in my cheeks.......plus the immense comfort gained from that quick whiff of Dove anti sweat zone and the knowledge that at least my armpits are still in great shape even if the rest of the exposed me looks like a smallpox victim. Forget the botox,forget the.......