"Yay! It's summer,"she cries.....

...tanned,lithe legs bound past me,the smell of spearmint toothpaste and Body Shop sandalwood musk warming up in opposite corners of the ring."Yeah."I muster back with as much fervour as someone condemned to death by heat rash can.To be tattooed on my forehead 'Never ever wear a super deluxe push up and shove cleavage bra on overnight during Tokyo summer."I stifle a yelp,as I unceremoniously squirt calamine lotion down my top.



"Aw,come on,"Rose Buddie laughs,"Let me make lunch and you'll feel better!"as she peers deep into my cavernous fridge." What do you fancy eating?"

Lunch? I don't need lunch.I need a complete skin graft over my entire booby region.What do I feel like eating? I don't feel like eating anything but I do know what I feel like.I feel like a slice of bread,forgotten in it's packet.That wee lump of cheese swaddled in cellophane wrap.....the one that came from humble rural origins nurturing ambitions to be used in some kind of fancy salad...........   but somehow got overlooked and over the weeks,it got tossed to the back of the fridge........behind the open tin of half eaten baked beans with the sauce that has taken on a rather glassy kind of sheen....next to the empty plastic container that used to house a rather fine specimen of charcoal,devoutly sniffing up fridge farts a few weeks ago.......sigh.


Now if we were talking winter.My old buddy.In winter,I'd have the motivation to pop that bread under a toaster,throw on that little lump of forlorn looking cheese,nuke the beans in the microwave on atom bomb setting and serve it on a plate with the plastic container next to it,filled with flowers from our garden.But it's summer and I feel like I've lost my Tabasco Sauce....sigh.Will have to send out for more calamine soon...